Why is it that we all pretend to be someone we are not? Why is it so bad to show what you really think and feel? Today, when you meet someone very different, you more often than not feel that he or she is trying to be different just for the heck of it! On more probing, it often seems to me that most of what we have done, are doing and will be doing in the future is actually not for us, but for someone else. In fact, I feel that selfishness in many cases is actually a result of being extremely socially oriented and ignored.
Getting hurt changes people in a lot of ways. Some take it with a pinch of salt and move on, others create a shell around themselves blocking almost everything and everyone to see their real self. And then there are those who take it as a defeat and gear themselves up for the ultimate revenge. This revenge has various forms – it could be through excessive display of material wealth as in many cases, taking control of one’s prized possession through any means possible or doing what everyone considered was beyond his capabilities.
Coming back to why I think people live and do most of what they do for others, I think they are not always aware of it or look at it in that perspective. I would think an extremely tiny percentage of all human beings are able to reach Maslow’s much coveted top of the pyramid – the stage of ‘Self-Actualization’. Everyone else ends up living for others. Selfish people would lose their objective in life if they have nobody to show-off too.
All this talk on outer-directedness makes me ask one question – What have I done for myself? Though there could be something here and there, I can’t think of very significant things. There have always been stakeholders whom I’ve tried to please and tried to find happiness in their happiness. Maybe this is how life is supposed to be. Or not? I really have the least clue. Is this the reason man is considered a social animal? Because he is incapable of finding happiness on his own?
Enough nonsense written for the night. I need to loosen up. Drinks, anyone?
I will try responding to this with an example that's more akin to my environment and existence.When I learn something properly and sing the way my music teacher would want me to,I am pleasing him, by following his instructions.When I'm all by myself and kicking back with a book or randomly humming the same tune when doing something else, singing it pleasurably gives me joy.Tiny as it may seem,next to owning a Ferrari,that little note of a song still makes me happy.Its my tiny moment of happiness.Individual happiness / Self Actualisation is not foreign to communal happiness.They are not one and the same.But they are inter-dependent.
ReplyDeleteIf my dog has had her share of biscuits for the day,she's happy and peacefully sleeps at my feet and hence my peace of mind for the day is intact.Just as we are all connected by the air we breathe, the water we drink,so are we also connected to the cosmos we live in and every being in it.
True happiness lies in the realisation of the smaller "happinesses" in life and thereby working our way up to the greater happiness of higher realisation - the realisation of the purpose for our existence.
(p.s. Guess I should stop my rambling here..:) )
I agree with you Rama.. was in a strange mood when I wrote this.. it was in one swift flow with hardly any thought..
ReplyDeleteThe response came out likewise. But then, isn't it how it's done..? :)
ReplyDeleteYeah, it is the way it is done.. But usually I'm more stable and give a lot more thought to what I'm writing..
ReplyDelete