The Romanticism of Honesty

Various things and activities are perceived as ‘romantic’ such as a walk down the lane at night, sudden midnight ice-cream trips, dancing, candle-light dinner, gifting flowers, teddy bears and chocolates, poems, songs and innumerable acts of innovative silliness people often tend to indulge in. I am not particularly uncomfortable with any of the above being termed romantic. However, a thought recently crossed my mind : “Is there a possibility that ‘Honesty’ be considered romantic?”

Now, for most of you reading this, the knee-jerk reaction could be something like “Of course, all relationships are based on mutual trust”, “Honesty is the foundation on which relationships should be built on” and similar globe. But let’s be honest. When a girl asks you about how she looks in a particular dress, didn’t you always agree? Or for that matter, when she asks “Do I look fat in this outfit?”. Whether it was to save yourself from the much feared wrath of your loved one, or if it was just to save time in case she decides to change or sometimes you not even paying that much attention and simply nodding to get along. The problem with saying the truth often is that it is more often than not considered brutal, cold and emotionless.

Why is it that we care so much about what others would feel about and how they would react to our actions? Why are ‘lies’ and a ‘make-believe’ world of flattery and fake chivalry considered romantic?

Being a huge fan of Ayn Rand and having been significantly influenced by ‘Objectivism’ and ‘Idealism’, it is an intriguing thought to consider if there are people in the world who not only value ‘honesty’, but find it romantic. The inherent romanticism of honesty lies in the fact that it is not only a difficult trail to trek, but it also says something profound about the person trying to go that path - a subtle, but clear enough implication is that the ‘honest’ person is not too bothered about the outcome. Or maybe he is bothered, but is more than prepared or ready to accept the consequences of his action. That is more romanticism than mushy stuff shown in movies. A very important thing about 'honesty' is that it shows the mutual respect people have for each others' intellect. Because end of the day, a person who thinks he or she can fool you is not a partner anyone would like to be with.

Sources of Inspiration : The Fountainhead, The Invention of Lying, Real Life :D

The Mask

Why is it that we all pretend to be someone we are not? Why is it so bad to show what you really think and feel? Today, when you meet someone very different, you more often than not feel that he or she is trying to be different just for the heck of it! On more probing, it often seems to me that most of what we have done, are doing and will be doing in the future is actually not for us, but for someone else. In fact, I feel that selfishness in many cases is actually a result of being extremely socially oriented and ignored.

Getting hurt changes people in a lot of ways. Some take it with a pinch of salt and move on, others create a shell around themselves blocking almost everything and everyone to see their real self. And then there are those who take it as a defeat and gear themselves up for the ultimate revenge. This revenge has various forms – it could be through excessive display of material wealth as in many cases, taking control of one’s prized possession through any means possible or doing what everyone considered was beyond his capabilities.

Coming back to why I think people live and do most of what they do for others, I think they are not always aware of it or look at it in that perspective. I would think an extremely tiny percentage of all human beings are able to reach Maslow’s much coveted top of the pyramid – the stage of ‘Self-Actualization’. Everyone else ends up living for others. Selfish people would lose their objective in life if they have nobody to show-off too.

All this talk on outer-directedness makes me ask one question – What have I done for myself? Though there could be something here and there, I can’t think of very significant things. There have always been stakeholders whom I’ve tried to please and tried to find happiness in their happiness. Maybe this is how life is supposed to be. Or not? I really have the least clue. Is this the reason man is considered a social animal? Because he is incapable of finding happiness on his own?

Enough nonsense written for the night. I need to loosen up. Drinks, anyone?